Intro Post, Part Five (final)

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I've had two other dreams of note. About a month ago, I dreamed that I was in Jerusalem and had to get from one part of the city to another but a neighborhood on a huge hill stood in my way. I had never been to the neighborhood on the hill before. I could have gone around it; there was a large four-lane boulevard skirting the hill. But I saw steps, a looong staircase, leading straight up the hill & decided to walk. I wanted to see what I could see from the top. As I walked up the marble steps a section suddenly morphed into rickety wooden steps that led through a wooded part of the hill, an old playground I think. That's when I woke up.

My other dream,  two weeks ago, was that I was peeling, like I had been in the sun and hadn't used any suntan lotion or sunscreen or anything. But I hadn't been in the sun. I think the peeling was on one of my arms but I can't remember.

I do fantasize about adopting the Israelite Samaritan version of our faith (actually, I don't know if they accept male converts) sometime in the future after, say, our youngest has finished school & is in the IDF, or even later, and would be less likely to be affected by the scandal surrounding his eccentric old Abba. There is an authenticity, a trueness to the roots, about them that I think we, with all of our books and books (Ecclesiastes warns that there is no end to making books) have long since lost.

Last thing, for now. I adore and love my wife. She is the greatest blessing of my life. (I joke that I must've done something really good in a past gilgul to deserve a wife like her in this one.) I would never do anything to scandalize or (God forbid!) jeopardize our marriage and/or our family. She likes, and is comfortable with, her life and the way of life we have and would be loathe to give them up just so I can realize (what I think she thinks/hopes is) a passing meshugas. She has said that she does not want to move to Holon. I absolutely respect that (of course!). I will never go anywhere (figuratively) without her. Maybe her attitude will change; maybe mine will. Who knows? 

For right now I have to ride this tiger through and see where it goes. Maybe it will go nowhere & I'll be stuck in the spiritual rut that I currently find myself in and that will be that. I am drawn to the Israelite Samaritans & their faith & way of life. Right now, I think, I must study. I need to study. Hopefully the books I have ordered will arrive soon. Hopefully they will provide me with guidance and the clarity that I thought I used to have and which I desperately crave.

In the meantime, when I go to shul tonight or tomorrow morning, I will certainly wonder if I'm not bowing in the House of Rimmon.

L'chaim!

nb