When the truth is found to be lies and all the joy within you dies...I don't know if I'm prepared to say that the o'dox Jewish truths I have lived by for the past 30 years or so are outright lies per se, but the joy that they used to give me, the joy I used to feel in living as an orthodox Jew has certainly atrophied if not completely died. I find that the Israelite Samaritan truths appeal to me far more (at the moment?).
I keep telling myself that as long as I'm bound by the o'dox Jewish code as it were I must uphold it. But sometimes it's a struggle.
I counted 27 for the Omer tonight but can't help but feel that it's really 23.
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