Hi all!
Finally, after more than a year, I went to Mt. Gerizim, Aargaareezem as the Israelite Samaritans (IS) say, yesterday (Wednesday, 17 September)!!
I took the day off work (I have gobs of vacation days), took the car to the garage in the morning for its once-every-10,000-kilometers tuneup, ran some errands & then drove to Kiryat Luza on "the Mountain" as my IS friend calls it. As I drove I was happy, I was enthusiastic, I was nervous, I was just glad to be finally going there after thinking about it, praying about it and wanting to be there. At last I was on my way! (I gave four people rides between various points along the way. I figure that it's always good to do good and help others.)
(NOTE: I was flattened at work on Thursday & had no down time in which to continue my post. It is now Sunday, 21 September.)
When I drove up the winding, steep hill to the Jewish community of Har Bracha,
and then along the ridge to Kiryat Luza, I was even more excited to actually be there. I called my IS friend, the same gentleman who I met at his home in Holon last May (see post #3), parked just up the street from the Passover firepits and then went to his flat. Like most Holon ISs he also has a flat in Kiryat Luza. We spoke at length.
He asked me why I had come & what I wanted. I told him that since my last visit to Aargaareezem (which he taught me to pronounce correctly) I couldn't get it out of my head, or my heart. I told him about what the old Amish grandfather said in Witness ("What you take into your hands you take into your heart") and said that it was like my hands themselves remembered how Givot Olam felt (see post #2), that they kind of tingled whenever I thought about it. I said that something he had told me last May really hit home with me.
When I mentioned our view about building a fence around the Torah (look at the third paragraph up from the bottom), he said a fence for what, to keep the Torah in or us out/away? He said that they see the Torah itself as their protective fence that doesn't need another fence.
This has really stuck with me. Fences are barriers that impede contact. Even if they are intended to protect whatever is inside they have the effect of keeping you away from it. He asked me about how I had become frum. I told him & then added about how doubts had begun to creep in, that I could no longer accept much of what I used to. I said that maybe it's just that now I've started thinking, critically, about much of what I had previously simply accepted. I said that it bugged me that while many ISs seemed to know alot about us, very few of us knew anything about them other than the slurs in the Mishnah and Talmud & the they-worship-a-dove-shaped-idol calumny. It also bugged me that they see us as cousins (my IS friend corrected me & said, "No, we see you as brothers!") while we see them as complete strangers & heretics. I showed him my copy of the Samaritan Torah in English & said that it was my absolute pleasure to read it every week & study it as closely as I could, paying special attention to the differences between our version and theirs. I told him that soon I will mark 28 years since I came to Israel and that it was a great pity I hadn't discovered the IS community then. He asked me why & I said that because I would have moved to Holon and asked to join their community and accept the IS (version of our) faith. I told him that this past Tisha B'Av, I had no idea why I was fasting! Actually, I told him, I knew exactly why, because I had to be a model to our boys & because everyone in our neighborhood did and if I didn't it would cause a big stir and start tongues a-wagging; I felt like such a hypocrite. He then asked me about the boys & my wife. The boys have no idea how deep my interest in the IS is & I want it to stay that way. He said, "And your wife?" I said that I think she hopes that this is merely a passing meshugaas on my part but that deep down I think she knows that it is not. So, I said, I keep this very private. Our friends and neighbors would think me not only a heretic but a loon as well & I do not want to bring that on my family. I told my friend that my wife is God's greatest blessing to me & that I will not risk my marriage. He said, "No, God forbid." I told him that since I cannot be on Aargaareezem (except for the occasional, hopefully twice yearly) visit, I will have to keep it in my heart. I said I hope that God does not account me a coward & he said that he was sure He does not. I told him that I had taught myself to say the Shema in the IS mode from a YouTube clip.
He corrected my pronunciation & now I think I've got it down pretty good. He asked me my Hebrew name & I said "Tzvi the Levite" or Tzvi Haleivee in modern Hebrew. He said that in IS mode my name would be pronounced Sabi A-libee, so that is who I am, Sabi A-libee.
He then invited me to accompany him up from Kiryat Luza to the summit, the grounds of which are part of the Mt. Gerizim National Park. As we drove the short distance up to the summit, I asked him if he & the IS community minded that everyone came to gawk at them while they brought the Passover offering. I think most Jews view ISs as some kind of quaint, museum-people. My friend smiled & said that while ISs were certainly not a museum-people he welcomed the visitors & said the more, the merrier, that they were welcome to come and see them and hopefully learn something.
When we got to the summit, we sat & had tea with the small Israel Nature and Parks Authority staff at the office at the gate, all of whom knew my IS friend well. (ISs enter the park for free.) We had a nice chat. They showed me how high the snow piled up during a huge storm we had last winter. The summit is much higher than nearby Har Bracha & received much more snow than it did. My friend & I then walked right out to Givot Olam. I marveled that while the site of the where the Temples stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem is ultra-off limits, and that to visit even the parts of the Temple Mount where those of our rabbis who say you can go up there say you can go, you have to wear special shoes, go to a mikve, etc., any IS could walk on any part of Aargareezem in general and right up to Givot Olam, where the Tabernacle/Mishkan stood, the holiest part. My IS friend quoted the Torah portion from this past Shabbat (Deuteronomy 30:14): "But the thing is very close to you..." And I replied, "And it doesn't need a fence!" He said we had to take our shoes off. I asked him if we should take our socks off too. He said that we didn't have to but I took mine off anyway; I wanted my feet to feel Givot Olam too, not just my hands! I knelt and ran my hands over the bare rock. I felt calm. I felt peace. I felt power. I looked up at my friend and, quoting Jacob (Genesis 28:17), said (in Hebrew), "This is none other but the house of God and this is the gate of Heaven." He repeated the phrase in IS Hebrew and said that he would go back to the gate and wait for me and that I should take as much time as I wanted. There was no one else at the Park that day so when he went back I was all alone, just me and God. I bent forward and ran my hands over the rock again and then lay down flat on my face with my arms and legs stretched. I wanted as much of me to feel as much of Givot Olam as possible. I gripped the rock, and felt it on my face and feet, prayed as hard as I ever have. I asked God to please not account me a spiritual coward. I thanked Him for the privilege of being there. I asked Him to please grant that one day I could pray on Aargareezem not as an occasional visitor or tourist. I asked Him that since I couldn't be on Aargareezem in person, bodily, I asked Him to help me keep Aargareezem in my heart until my next visit (probably before Passover; I can see myself going to Aargareezem to recharge my batteries twice a year, before Passover & before the autumn holidays). I asked Him to please forgive me as I bow and pray in the House of Rimmon. I was there a good 10-15 minutes. Then I got up, stepped off of Givat Olam, put my shoes & socks back on and walked back to the gate, passing the Altar of Isaac (where Abraham offered up Isaac) along the way.
My friend & I then drove back to Kiryat Luza where we had lunch in the same restaurant where my colleague & I had eaten last year. After lunch, I bought a 1-kilogram plastic jar of the ISs's excellent raw tehina/tahini paste. We went back to my friend's apartment. We embraced and then I left to drive back home. I felt exhilirated that I had been to Aargareezem after more than a year!
That night as I walked the dogs (in an isolated area where I could let them off the leash) I said the Shema & repeated Sabi A-libee a few times. I thought about the IS's fenceless version of our faith (as it were) and how liberating it is. I think it lets you concentrate on the forest & not see the minutae of each tree as a world in itself. I kept going back to "But the thing is very close to you..." I felt it close to me.
The next morning, as I walked to synagogue for morning prayers, late as usual, I started saying the morning blessings & psukei d'zimra (chapters of Psalms; click here, see under "Outline of Services" ) to myself as I walked (as usual; so I wouldn't be so behind when I got to synagogue). As part of the morning blessings, one says the first line of the Shema (see above). So I stopped & said it (in the IS mode) with as much concentration as I could. A neighbor who was coming down the steps from his building saw me & complimented me on the intent & intensity of my praying. This guy actually knows a little about the ISs but would probably keel over if he knew what exactly I was praying.
But then as I actually walked into the House of Rimmon (aka the synagogue), I got all moist-eyed as it hit me. "But the thing is very close to you..."? Not to me. I was as far away from Aargareezem and the IS community and their (version of our) faith as ever. I cannot be where I want to be and I do not want to be where I am. I am ever conscious of being in the House of Rimmon, that the religious life I am leading is second best (as it were). But, like I said, I will have to try to keep Aargareezem in my heart & trust that God's plan for me, be it as He will, is for my benefit. I know that He knows what He is doing.
I printed out these IS prayers & say some of them every day & others on Shabbat as the case may be.
On "Rosh Hashanah" last week I was rather reserved. I do not accept that the first of the (seventh, counting from Nissan, as per Exodus 12:2) month of Tishrei is in fact the first of the year. I carefully avoided wishing people a Shanah Tova (a "good year") and instead used either the Hebrew Chag Sameach or the Yiddish Gut Yontef, both of which mean simply "Happy Holiday". (Click here, holiday #4, to see how the ISs view the day.) Leviticus 23:24-25 specifies that this holyday is one day; I would love to know how or sages' decreeing that this holyday would be two days does not constitute adding to the Torah, which, of course, is strictly forbidden. I also think that our sages' learning that the first of Tishrei is a "new year day" based on Exodus 23:16 ("and the feast of ingathering, at the end of the year") is weak (very) and tenuous in the extreme.
(Oh, by the way, it's now Tuesday, September 30th.)
I've decided that I cannot say the "Hymn of Honor" (or Anim Zemirot) anymore (click here & here). I cannot accept its over-the-top anthropomorphism (God has curly black hair & wears tefillin). I think that even as metaphors these go waaay too far. They make me feel uncomfortable & I cannot say them any more. (If you'll say that God has black hair and wears tefillin then it's only a very short jump to believing that He can father children; no offense to my Christian friends!!!!!).
I think that this is it for now.
Yom Kippur is this coming Friday night-Saturday. The ISs mark it one day earlier, on Thursday night-Friday. This is because we manipulate the calendar so that Yom Kippur will never fall on a Friday or Sunday (or Tuesday). (Drop down to "Step 5: Applying the Dechiyot".)
This is Sabi A-libee :-) signing off for now.
Last week we concluded the three weeks between our dawn-to-nightfall fast of the 17th of (the Hebrew month of) Tammuz and the 'round-the-clock fast of the Ninth of (the Hebrew month of) Av. The whole period, culminating on the 9th of Av, is centered on mourning for our destroyed temples & hoping that the third - and presumably permanent - will be built soon.
Needless to say I was not into it. I fasted on the 17th of Tammuz (July 15) & on the 9th of Av last Tuesday (August 5) for appearances' sake. We still live where we live (an entirely religious area) and I still have to set an example for the boys. Also, my wife would not approve of me not fasting. The "appearances sake" thing makes me something of a hypocrite. After all, I am doing something I no longer believe in. But I do not wish to start our friends' & neighbors' tongues a-wagging and bring opprobrium on our family. I think that is a legitimate concern. And as I said way back in Intro Post #5, my wife is the greatest blessing of my life & I will not do anything that could jeopardize our marriage (God forbid!!!). So if she would not approve of me not fasting, then fast I will and that is that.
I know that I've said before that as long as I am bound by the o'dox Jewish code (as it were) I must act according to it. But it isn't easy because my heart is elsewhere. Last Friday evening, as we sang the Lecha Dodi hymn welcoming in the Sabbath and we turned around to face the door at the end, I turned quickly and faced Mt. Gerizim for a second. As we say the "modim derabanan" prayer during the reader's repetition of the "Amidah" (see here) and we ask God to, "gather our exiles to Your holy courts to keep Your laws and do Your will," I add (after "Your holy courts"), "on Your holy mountain, Mt. Gerizim".
Reading the Israelite Samaritan version of the Torah every Saturday is a continuing wonder & fascination. I look out for the differences between the Israelite Samaritan version & ours and as they say God is in the details. Ferinstance, our version of Genesis 2:2 says:
And on the seventh day G-d finished His work which He had made; and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had made.
The Israelite Samaritan version says:
And on the sixth day G-d finished His work which He had made; and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had made.
Capisce? I think the Israelite Samaritan version makes sense. To say that God "finished His work" on the 7th day implies that He worked on the 7th day. Given that imitatio Dei is important for us and we are commanded to rest on the 7th day because that's what God did, then it makes sense (methinks) that the Israelite Samaritan version makes more theological sense.
I told my wife yesterday as we were on our way to work that after the boys go back to school, I would like to take a day off work and go to Mt. Gerizim (for the first time in over a year) for a day. I need to be there. I think that if I can be there for just a few hours (to read the Torah & commune with God), that I'll feel better. Maybe I can make a once-a-year "pilgrimage" to recharge my spiritual batteries and so that I, the timid, may be well assured that such a place is my refuge, for it is the house of God, the protector, who saves the one taking refuge in Him and seeking Him by faith, in that place.
I need to seek God by faith in that place, physically, so that I can keep it in my heart for another year. I need to run my hands over the flat rock of Givot Olam again.
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In yesterday's parsha (Beha'alotecha, Numbers 8:1-12:16), we read about Pesah Sheni (Numbers 9:1-14). (Based on Joshua 5:2-9, which says that there was no brit mila during the 38 years we were gallivanting around in the wilderness,) O'dox Judaism holds that this was the only Pesah celebrated in the wilderness, until the Pesah mentioned in Joshua 5-10-11. Even before my fascination with the Israelite Samaritans, I always thought that it was kind of weird that God would command us these two supremely important mitzvot (the only two positive mitzvot that carry the penalty of karet) and then prevent us from doing them for 38 years, during such a formative period of our national existence. I don't see where it's written regarding brit mila and Pesah that it's Divinely mandated not to do them in the wilderness. Something doesn't jibe here.
I read in Samaritan Exegesis that Cohen Gadol Jacob son of Aaron writes:
The children of Israel fulfilled all the ordinances which they were commanded in the Torah, among them the Passover ordinance, for it is one of the greatest ordinances. Our fathers used to perform it according to the rules and regulations, and ate with it unleavened bread and bitter herbs throughout the forty years. Our opponents claim that our fathers ceased from celebrating the Passover during the period of forty years which they spent in the wilderness. Against this statement I appeal to God! How could they attend to this ordinance while they were in Egypt, surrounded by the most oppressive conditions, and then neglect it when they entered the wilderness with perfect liberty, and while Moses (upon whom be peace) was with them? How could they cease from performing an ordinance which was given to them as long as the world lasts, being at the time in a place where no one would oppose them...
...Those who claim that those who entered into the wilderness or were born during the forty years were not circumcised make a terrible mistake. What prohibited them from doing so, for they were commanded with this ordinance from the times of our lord Abraham (upon whom be peace). They understood how absolute and definite are the punishments of those who do not perform it. Passages to that effect are numerous, for whosoever is born among the Israelites, and is not circumcised on the eigth day, is not counted with thje people, and that soul is destroyed from the number of the people. What our opponents claim in this matter is unacceptable and irrational, and so much is enough in this brief treatise.
Unacceptable and irrational, indeed. Needless to say that my bringing this up at seudah shlishit yesterday in shul did not impress anybody (all six of us). Once again, to accept the premise of no Pesah & no brit milah in the wilderness, one must needs fall back on the o'dox idea of oral Torah, or Torah Sheba'al Peh, which can be made to mean whatever we want it to mean even if this contravenes reason, logic and/or the plain sense of the written text.
Shavuot, o'dox Jewish Shavuot, was last week, although I can't help but think that the real Shavuot is today. Sigh
I know that I've said, both to myself and in one of my previous posts here somewhere, that as long as I'm bound by this particular code, i.e. o'dox Judaism, I must act according to it. But I really am just going through the motions. I know how I must act, my body knows what it has to do, but my mind & heart are drawn to Mt. Gerizim. Sigh (again) May God forgive me.
I love Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love" (click here, from 3:32). The opening lines are
When the truth is found to be lies and all the joy within you dies...
I don't know if I'm prepared to say that the o'dox Jewish truths I have lived by for the past 30 years or so are outright lies per se, but the joy that they used to give me, the joy I used to feel in living as an orthodox Jew has certainly atrophied if not completely died. I find that the Israelite Samaritan truths appeal to me far more (at the moment?).
I keep telling myself that as long as I'm bound by the o'dox Jewish code as it were I must uphold it. But sometimes it's a struggle.
I counted 27 for the Omer tonight but can't help but feel that it's really 23.
I've rewritten one of my poems from Intro Post, Part Four:
Once the fence inspired awe
now I run atop the posts.
I could very well fall
but at least I'm alive.
I can tell because the fencetop pricks my feet.
Others see green grass
but I see weeds;
hallowed ground for them,
hollow ground for me
where my feet grow heavy on the old familiar paths.
(I had seder in the House of Rimmon
awash in bitter herbs
where hopes are stillborn
and dwindle into fantasies,
that four cups couldn't drown, but not for want of trying.)
I know the world is hollow
but I fear to touch the sky
lest it shatter
and my family be caught in the wreckage.
So on I run, trying to keep my balance, but at least my feet hurt.
Better, I think.
I am immensely enjoying reading The Israelite Samaritan Version of the Torah, parsha (ours) by parsha, and am learning alot (which is why I bought it). Some of the differences appear to be fairly inconsequential (reversed word orders & such) while others are more substantive. Examples of the latter are in Leviticus 17:7 and 18:18. Our English of 17:7 reads:
And they shall no more sacrifice their sacrifices unto the satyrs, after whom
they go astray.
The Israelite Samaritan version reads the first underlined portion as in the gates. Our version of the original Hebrew is l'se'irim; theirs is b'shaa'rim (adjusting the Israelite Samaritan pronunciation to ours). The second underlined portion is zonim in both versions. The z-n-h root is also the root for the word for prostitute/whore, zonah. The Israelite Samaritan read is that we must not offer sacrifices as we were formerly wont to do in profane places such as town gates where prostitutes and whores might gather to trawl for customers.
In 18:18, the read is the same but the interpretation differs.
And you shall not take a woman to her sister, to be a rival to her, to uncover
her nakedness, beside the other in her lifetime
We take to her sister in its literal sense & rule that a man may not marry two biological sisters. The Israelite Samaritans read it more metaphorically and take to her sister to mean any other Israelite woman, i.e. a sister in faith & rule that a man may not take a second wife at all (unless the first wife is barren and unless she agrees).
I have finished the second section of Samaritan Exegesis, by High Priest Jacob son of Aaron (whom the Wikipedia article on Samaritan High Priests lists as having served from 1874-1916), in which he answers 25 questions that were put to him. Those regarding the Passover were utterly fascinating.
In a latter section, the High Priest writes:
Every word of God as given in the revealed Torah through our lord Moses (upon whom be peace) possesses several allusions which are to be applied in their proper places. This is enough for the man who lays aside his prejudice, and is willing to receive guidance and act piously.
What an elegant refutation of the calumny that the Israelite Samaritans are slaves as it were to the narrow, literal meaning of the Torah. The key phrase above, I think, is in their proper places. Our Sages take such flights (of fancy?) away from the plain sense of the text (see Intro Post, Part Four, the paragraph near the bottom beginning "This past Roah Hashanah...") whereas the Israelite Samaritans take things in their proper places.
nb
I decided that since I have to count with our youngest son I will do a barebones count, i.e. the blessing & the erroneous count and none of the afterprayers that are customarily said after counting; I just can't do it.
The Israelite Samaritans will be bringing the Pesach offering on Mt. Gerizim in a few hours. I think I said in a previous post that I will be glad that I'm not there. To see the Israelite Samaritans doing God's work and to know that all I will ever likely be is a spectator would be heartbreaking. So instead I'll drink my four cups of wine at Rimmon's table tomorrow night (maybe I'll drink a fifth or sixth cup) and wish I could be elsewhere. Whee.
nb
Something that I hadn't thought of when I wrote my previous post is that my wife might want me to count the omer with our youngest son as she has in previous years. He's now past bar mitzvah so we'll have to see. I suppose I have to set a Jewish example for him but I wonder what values will I be teaching him exactly? Hypocrisy? Doing things just for the sake of appearances? Wheee. How responsible. What fun. (Not.)
It always freaks me out, this year more than in previous years, how so many o'dox Jews get so neurotic when it comes to Passover. Passover is when the obsessive-compulsives among us come out of the woodwork. There are people who weigh and measure out individual portions of matzah and maror so that everyone eats the exact right precise amount. God forbid that you should eat one gram less! Gevalt!! The seder is not supposed to be a mathematics lesson! Just eat some matza; if you eat under the exact, measured, quantifiable amount, it doesn't make any difference! I go nuts over long hair-splitting debates over what exactly constitutes leaning to the left. What if you're more comfortable leaning to the right/?!! It doesn't make any difference! Just sit and be relaxed & comfortable! And, of course, our sedarim go on forever (even though the Torah says that the Passover offering is to be eaten in haste, but the Oral Torah explains that away too).
This past Shabbat I (quite spur of the moment) decided to stop pointing at the Torah when it is held up after the reading and saying, "This is the Torah that Moses placed before the Children of Israel according to God, by the hand of Moses" (which is cobbled together from Deuteronomy 4:44 & Numbers 4:37) as I do not believe anymore that the Torah which we Jews have is indeed, "the Torah that Moses placed before the Children of Israel according to God."
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